So far, all the places I’ve been have been owned by cats. I’m very good with cats, fortunately. I have offered up the proper sacrifices in terms of blood and scratches, but I assure you, compared to the average Guest of Cats, it’s the bare minimum. I know how to make shy cats visit me and mean cats let me pet them. I am the cat whisperer.

So here are the cats I have visited:

In DC, I spent a couple of days in a lovely flat with Romeo and Rune. Romeo is a ginger long hair, and Rune a long hair muted tortoiseshell calico. Romeo lived up to his name quickly, and allowed me to romance him for most of the visit. Rune usually cuddled when she didn’t fully realize it was me – such as when I was sleeping.

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Oh, these two cats have a housekeeper who just happens to be my very best friend since 7th grade.

I’m writing this post from a cat boarding house. There are three cats here, who require a staff of four to serve them properly. The smallest and least prepossessing of these is Bobbie, aka Tiny. She’s a cat.

IMG_20150225_154857 Bobbie, with her personal caregiver, to whom I gave birth.

The largest is Booty. He has boots, but apparently was named after butts.

image (2)The couch is very large. Booty takes up most of it.

The reigning king of the household is Tiberius. Also known as Tibs, also known as “argh, get off my face!” Tibs and I have spent a lot of time together, because he wishes it to be so.

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Tibs, looking at himself in the mirror

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Tibs, checking out what’s under my covers.

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Tibs, deciding what to step on or knock over next.

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Tibs, seconds before knocking over my side table.

Along the way, there have also been other cats, because, cats. My friends Rob and Erin have the most dynamic cat, which is another way of saying “evil.” Also beautiful, but definitely sharp-clawed youthful evil. I can’t remember evil kitty’s name, but I remain proud that I was able to ninja zir enough to pet. I bled the most at zir’s altar.

image (5) I will make you bleed, but you will enjoy it, because – look at me.

The last cat was my friend Cathy’s cat. I almost didn’t see this one, because – well, she burrows. Here she is in her natural state, where I found her:

image (3) Cat is there, really.

Cathy then decided her sheets needed to be changed, so she pulled Miss Nora out. Turns out she’s a chocolate point Siamese. Who knew?

image (1)Cathy with the cat who is much bigger than her lump would lead you to believe.

So, I m actually heading away from catcivilization tomorrow, which will just be weird. But one last photo, to remind you of the power and pain of visiting cats….my sacrifice to these lovely gods:

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May all your travels have cats –

in faith –

Audette